For the last couple of days I’ve been trying to start posting again after a hiatus because several people asked me to. I’m having a lot of trouble because the only thing that interests me nowadays is Self-realization and I’m not Self-realized so I can’t write about it.
When I say “Self-realization” I mean Ramana’s state.
Why can’t I write about it? Because I’ve always tried to follow a rule on this blog of writing only about things that I know firsthand from experience. I haven’t always stuck to that rule but I’ve tried. To break that rule would be like opening Talks With Sri Ramana Maharshi without washing my hands first.
This is why many posts on this site are about spiritual topics other than Self-realization. Such topics involve phenomena. Mental states. Objects. Things of which we are aware.
The series of posts about destroying vasanas is an example. They are based on my experiences (also some of my close friends’ experiences), and I think they contain valuable information for seekers, but they are not about Self-realization.
I seem to have run out of interest in topics of that kind. Nowadays all I care about is Self-realization.
I just looked back at all the posts on this blog for the last four years and I’m struck by how false a picture they present of what I’m interested in and how I pass my time. In fact almost the only thing I’m interested in is Self-realization, and this has been increasingly true for years. My guide in that pursuit since 1999 has been Sri Ramana Maharshi. Does this blog strike you as belonging to an obsessed follower of Ramana who tries to practice Self-enquiry during every waking minute? I suspect it doesn’t. Judging by the contents of this blog, I probably appear to be mainly interested in vasanas, kundalini, energy channels in the body, telepathy, dualistic experiences of God, siddhis, etc. There’s nothing wrong with those topics. All of them interested me at the time and some of them can probably be valuable to seekers. But they were always a sideshow for me and now I’ve lost interest in the sideshow.
If you’re wondering where this post is going, I am too.