I’ve recently become involved for the first time in decades with a spiritual organization, and this led me to write to one of the members that such organizations often come under the control of people who are given over almost entirely to their egos.
Then I remembered a counter-example and wrote the following postscript:
Dear ──────,
Emailing with you is making me remember all sorts of things I haven’t thought of in a long time.
I just remembered meeting Sundaram Ramanan, the former president of Sri Ramanasramam, about 25 years ago at a Navratri party at his daughter’s house in the US. While everyone else was making food in the kitchen or playing with the children or chatting loudly, he was by himself pacing back and forth in front of a huge window with sunlight pouring through it. He was wearing a white kurta and had his hands clasped behind his back. Dust motes danced in the air around him in the sun, and he was smiling.
I felt a little awkward at this party because I was the only non-Tamilian and although everyone was extremely friendly to me and shifted into English when I was around, I felt like I was burdening them by making them speak English.
I went over to Sundaram and introduced myself. I didn’t know he was the ashram president. I did know he was a relative of Bhagavan. He looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t lost in thought, that he was really there, the consciousness apparent the way it is when people aren’t lost in thought.
I asked him what Bhagavan was like in person. He had known Bhagavan when he was a kid. Without a moment’s hesitation he said very emphatically, making a slicing gesture with his open hand to show how absolute his statement was, “Natural. Completely natural. He spoke to everyone the same way without any formality. Completely spontaneous.”
Then for some reason, I don’t remember why, he began to recite the mahavakyas. He did this in a very beautiful, rolling timbre. I can still hear the way he said aham brahmasmi, drawing out the words and pronouncing them in a dramatic but unpretentious way. We were looking into each other eyes as he did this and we could both see that we were both enjoying this.
He was quite a bit older than me and usually I felt shy in such situations but I didn’t feel that way with him.
It was a short conversation and I’m probably describing it badly but he made an enormous impression on me, a wonderful impression, and it wasn’t because he was the ashram president. I didn’t know he was the ashram president.
Such a nice anecdote!
Interestingly, I recently have noticed again, and thought briefly about how I became much more spontaneous, even in my interactions with people I barely know and in formal settings. It can even be a bit unsettling, because apparently, I have no control over how I behave and present myself to other people. But as I always do, I chose not to mind and go with the flow 🙂
Are you planning to write about your experiences with the spiritual organisation?
Yeah that spontaneous, uncontrolled talking is scary sometimes. Have you ever said anything you regretted as a result? I’m sure I have but I can’t remember an example. I almost had an example yesterday but afterward somebody told me I said the right thing. I do it more when I’m with sattvic, conscious people. I guess it increases as part of satsang transmission.
I haven’t thought about writing about the organization. I don’t know. I rarely think of anything to write lately. I only wrote this page because talking with somebody by email evoked it unexpectedly.
I don’t remember anything I regretted. I guess I haven’t gone to extremes yet! They say that being authentic is highly appreciated by others. I think it reflects my experience so far. But you never know what will come out of your mouth the next moment! 😀
Now I am curious about which organization you are involved with!
“Involved” probably gives a false impression. I’m collaborating with a friend on a project that his organization wants to control, so I’ve been interacting with his organization.